My first Blog

I have decided to start blogging now. Why wait? I don't see what better other outlet to use...let go of some of the things I have building inside of me and share it with the rest of world. I know I'm not alone when I begin to say all I will the things I will be saying. I'm tired of feeling like I live in a closet where no one sees what really goes on in my everyday life. I'm tired of pretending everything is just dandy. I'm tired of people telling me I look so fantastic because I lost weight while I'm actually under weight. I question their eye sight. Better yet, societies eye site since all those magazines have those skinny people. I live in a constant battle wishing I could gain weight. When I do gain, I wonder if it's due to the fact that I haven't gone to the bathroom for a few days and I'm just backed up. I actually celebrate when I actually go potty. I get over joyed and excited. It might sound crazy to some people, but that's just how it is. I have Gastroparesis.
Now here comes the fun part...
Picture a car that no longer works getting crushed in one them machines but instead it's the brain that is expanding inside the skull and feels like it's going to explode. That's one of the pains I get on a regular basis. The other one is imagine your hair is in a very tight pony tail, so tight you wanna loosen you hair but can't since, in reality your hair isn't even in a pony tail. You can't even touch your hair, it hurts too much. There are times I get both pains at the same time. Good thing Gary (my better half) can understand me (for the most part) when I get this way. I end up not being able to move my jaw which causes me to lose my ability to communicate. Regardless, talking would hard anyway. the vibrations would make the pain worse. I would say i have a headache 8 out of 10 times a week. Without a doubt, I wake up with one. All this, I give thanks to Chiari Malformation I.
There's more to it than what I have given you in the two paragraphs, but I figured, I'd give you an idea of what goes on. This will also give me an idea on how to work this blog thing too.