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Friday, April 12, 2013

Do people think before they open their mouth to talk to you?

I posted on facebook exactly how I was feeling, which is "I feel like shit having my puke bucket with me, ice packs on my head, coffee filled with ginger to help with nausea. already took meds (which will take effect pretty soon)." and I posted that because my better half made a statement saying "You are so cute and adorable." I thought It was so nice of him to say. After going back and forth with my close friends and family, they made me smile and feel better. But then I get a comment from someone saying, "Tanya, How are you feeling?" REALLY!?!?!? DID YOU NOT READ MY POST??First off, I haven't from this person in months and which is odd that they would make a comment in the first place. Secondly, I'm wondering if they are being sarcastic about how I'm feeling. Everyone on my fb page knows about me having Chiari Malformation and Gastroparesis. I don't keep that a secret. I think it is important for us who suffer from Chiari and Gastroparesis to express what we are feeling physically and mentally to bring awareness to others...
Anyway...Moving on...
I was going to leave it alone and not respond since it is posted right there in plain view. I mean come on now, this person did respond to the post by asking how i was feeling. But being ME...the person that I am...the person most people "think it, but don't say it" kind of person but actually say could imagine. I just couldn't help myself. I was cool and was nice enough to not direct it to this person and this is what my response was: "Oh, I'm fantastic, I'm about to out, hop on a shuttle and fly out to moon to blow off some steam so no one can hear what I'm saying. I hope it feels like a roller coaster ride. I miss those. When I come back, I hope they let me jump out with a parachute since it's on my bucket list...oh wait...I can't do that. I have Chiari. i dumb and stupid of me. let me slap my head and give me some more pain. you think i can have a bacon cheese burger? oh...never mind..." and left it like that. My cousin was going say something but I beat her to her.
In laden terms, what I was saying, I feel like crap. I wish I could do the things normal people could do but I know I can't because of Chiari. At the moment I feel even worse because of the physical pain I'm in. It doesn't help matters mentally because I'm hungry for a nice bacon cheese burger, which I know I can not eat thanks to Gastroparesis. I'm still doing fantastic. I keep my dreams alive and still have hope that one day things will change. But I sure as hell have these bad days (more bad) and good day just like everyone else. Right now it's a bad day, this person can't tell the difference so I just drew her a dream and played dumb.

"No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you'll find the positive side of things."

-Demi Lovato


  1. Tanya, i'm happy to see that you started a blog. its therapeutic to just spil on the page the things that go through our brain.

    i want to share something with you and its well-intended, so please don't infer offense, its all love. :-)

    communication is more than just words. this is why we use smiley faces on the internet, because a lot of what we say in person conveys meaning by facial expression.

    but there's more to it, there's tone of voice, body language, pace, context . . .

    and at its most basic, we come full circle: words, and language matters, unfortunately we cannot always master it.

    i guess what i'm trying to say is that its been my experience that on the net its best to give the benefit of a doubt to comments folk make.

    and in those cases where harmful intent and snark is unmistakable, the best retort is silence. there's little more insulting than being ignored.

    i hope that you don't mind the unsolicited advice, i can't help but feel family towards you even though we've lost for so long.

    luv, ed r.


    Not at all. I actually welcome it. If anything, what better way to learn then to get some advice, criticism, etc.
    I *taking hat off* thank you.